14 Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests 15 and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. 16 From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.
Matthew 26
I wish we knew more about Judas. We label him “betrayer” and raise our crossed fingers at the thought of him, but dare I say . . . we all have some Judas in us.
Judas was looking out for himself. He was worried that Jesus would leave and he would be left without anything to support himself or his family. This fear drove him to betray the best person he has ever known. If we make Judas a young entrepreneur who sells his patent/company to assure his family’s wealth, suddenly the decision doesn’t seem as dark. We understand the pressure to survive.
Pressure to thrive or survive usually pulls the Judas out in us. This, I believe, is normal. The most important time comes when we have the opportunity to put Judas away. Here in this story, Judas has plenty of time to change his mind. The passage says “from then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.”
I would guess those days or weeks were excruciating for Judas. Stuck between his own personal security and the security of Jesus, he chose himself. In those times where your inner Judas comes out saying “this is better for you,” make sure you give yourself space to put those thoughts away. Do not let the pressures of this world force you to choose yourself over Jesus .